OK, OK, I Get It ;)

Hmm, where to begin…..

Well, I think the best place to begin is with a big “thank you!”  Thank you to all of you ladies that took the time to reach out to me and say “where the *&!% are you??”

I didn’t really mean to pull a disappearing act, but wow, I guess I did.  I probably would have stayed in hiding indefinitely if it wasn’t for a few of you nudging me back, so thank you 🙂

That being said…ummm….I’m back!!  And I’d like to give a little update on my goals and life in general.  If you’re interested, read on…if not, that’s cool too 🙂

On the fitness front: I don’t even know where to begin with this.  I could probably dedicate an entire post to what the heck happened to my brain and body post-competition, but I’ll give you the brief overview for now.

In a nutshell, I kind of forgot how to be “normal” after my competition.  I was still signed up for coaching services through Cathy Savage Fitness, but I felt like a lost soul with no real “purpose” in my training after the competition.  For many weeks, I was half-heartedly following the Savage recommendations for training and nutrition, but I found myself swinging WAY out of control with my food.  It was all or nothing:  I’d try to eat “perfectly” for a few days and then I’d have an entire day of eating CRAP food which I wouldn’t have touched with a 10-foot pole in the past.  To be honest, I guess I started having some disordered thinking and behavior with food.  I hear this is common with women who participate in fitness competitions, so I’m sure I’m not alone.  And rather than airing out my dirty laundry on this blog, I went into hiding.  Plain and simple.

The thing is, I know how to eat in a balanced and healthy way.  I know how to be active and fit in regular exercise.  The more I try to follow a regimented program, the more pressure I start to put on myself, and that’s not a good place for me.  In my regular, day-to-day life, I don’t need someone to tell me how to eat and exercise.  Yes, if I am training for a specific purpose, I need all the  help I can get.  But I’m not currently training for another competition; therefore, I discontinued my membership with Savage.  It is a fantastic program and I can’t say enough good things about it…it’s just not the program for me at this stage in my life.

I’ll be giving you more updates on my current diet and fitness in the near future, but that’s where I am right now!  🙂

On the rest-of-my-life front:  The hubby and I have recently had a really, really tough couple of weeks.

My father-in-law passed away.  Even as I type those words, I’m still in a bit of disbelief.

Trever’s dad, Big Rudy, was larger than life.  He was a vivacious, kind, fun guy who was always the life of the party.  Rudy took me under his wing just like I was his own daughter.  And he was my husband’s best friend.

We were both absolutely devastated to lose him.  I haven’t really had a chance to share my feelings about this with anyone before now.  It’s impossible to describe how heartbreaking it is to not only lose someone that I was very close to, but to watch the person that I love most in the whole world, my husband, deal with such a terrible, crushing loss.

We are still in the midst of processing this grief and all the emotions that come along with this experience.  I am just trying to be the best wife and support that I can be to my husband, but man, it’s been really rough.  So…that’s that.

And in other news:  I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the direction of this blog moving forward.  Even though I haven’t been posting a lot lately, I actually have been diligently pursuing my goals.  So, I’d like to continue to give updates on the things that I’ve set out to achieve in 2012 (sheesh, before you know it, it’s going to be 2013!).

But, I’d also like to blog about…life.  Ya know, the random stuff that pops into my head that I want to share with you and the rest of the universe 😉  It might be fitness-related, or food-related, or fashion-related, or something silly, or just daily ramblings.  I guess what I’m trying to say is – it’s not going to be so regimented.  I hope that’s OK with you…and I’d love for you to come along 🙂

And OK, I get it!  It’s not cool to pull a disappearing act.  It won’t happen again. 🙂

8 thoughts on “OK, OK, I Get It ;)

  1. So glad your back. I have my first comp in november and i’m a little nervous because i dealt with eating issues in the past and am really nervous that past issues will arise so I’m trying to be really mindful of it. I’m really liking savage.

    • Thanks, Amy 🙂 Just make sure to check in with your coach a lot after your competition and don’t fall off the radar like I did! I’m sure you’re going to rock the competition though – can’t wait to hear all about it.

  2. I’m sorry to hear about your loss. There’s nothing easy about losing someone close. Lots of love to you and your husband.

    P.s. so happy you’re back and I’m looking forward to the new format! You blog is so motivational.

  3. YAY! I’m glad you’re back!
    a few things I wanted to say: I’m sorry for your loss. 😦 ugh, not only is it hard to lose someone like that, but to also try to be strong for your hubby 😦
    As far as the eating goes, it does happen to a lot of woman after competition and that’s mostly due to the diet for the comp. It’s a metabolism mess up. A lot of good enough on the topic I’ve found here : http://www.leanbodiesconsulting.com. However, I’m sure a lot of it has to do with the resent stresses in your life. If you have time, take a look at the website. Erik is incredible and truly knows what he’s doing. Nothing against Savage, but… a lot of people say not to reinvent the wheel.. well the body sculpting wheel really does need to be looked at again, and really understood as to what is happening to a persons body as they’re following the ‘tried and true’ ways of diet and exercise for training.

    • Hey girl, thanks for your comment. And thanks for the link – very interesting site! He has a great blog. I feel like it was a great experience for a lot of reasons…taught me a lot about commitment and hard work, but I also think it can be a slippery, dangerous slope if you’re not careful and aware of what you’re putting yourself through, ya know? Either way, I’m getting myself back to my normal, centered self 😉

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